Football as Religion

I owe this post to Ricky Brennes.  He reads this blog, though he refuses to admit that its hysterical.  He's my biggest fan that does not acknowledge my genius.  But ladies and gentlemen, today is all Ricky.  I didn't come up with this, he did.  I'm going to write it out like a screenplay so hopefully you can enjoy the genius of this conversation.  I don't know if he thinks about this stuff ahead of time, I don't think he does.  But this story still makes me laugh and as we approach the big Red River Rivalry this weekend, I thought we could all use a little football humor. 

Ricky:  So, how are you meeting people in Houston?
Sherry:  Well, I've met a lot of people through church.
Ricky:  What church are you going to?
Sherry:  Chapelwood, its a Methodist Church not to far from my house.
Ricky:  Methodist, so that's like the coach that slaps the player on the ass and tells him he's doing a good job and its all gonna be ok.
Sherry:  Yeah, its pretty much like that.
Ricky:  So, Baptist... that'd be like the coach that grabs the kid by the face mask and yells at him for f-ing up.  Spitting in his face.
Sherry:  Yeah, that's about right.  What would Catholic be?
Ricky:  Catholic, well, that'd be the quarterback that freaks out if he has to get out of the pocket and scramble.  He has to follow the playbook.  And then he feels like shit cause he let the team down.
Sherry:  Awesome.  So, Jewish... what would Jewish be in football?

Ricky:  Strictly a first half team.