Stars in my Eyes

If you were around me at all today or possibly if your number was in my cell phone-- Then you heard about my new obsession. This blog. I have so much to say and am genuinely grateful for my friends that fed my insecurities by telling me they loved it. So before I go to bed, I needed to try to organize some thoughts.

Here's what I want to send out into the cosmic void tonight and what's been on my mind today. And my mind has been racing with all sorts of thoughts, concerns, and questions today.

Can we ever truly make the perfect decision? Isn't there always some kind of opportunity cost?

and

What do you do about the butterflies and was I the only one with butterflies? Was it even butterflies or was it indigestion?

But here's what I learned today, I have so many friends that play so many different roles in my life. But I realized that I have one friend that I can really, truly lay all the cards on the table. The one who listened and talked and was totally honest. The one who told me that what I was feeling was "hopeful but with stars in my eyes." The one who so eloquently told me "duh"... but let me prattle on about my fears.

When we were young everything was about fun, taking the dare... now I opt for truth instead cause its safer. When did I get so scared to take a leap? To take a chance? Am I so scarred from taking those leaps of faith, and falling or being disappointed or hurt...that I've lost my ability to leap? I suppose it's just too scary and I might break a bone, or break my heart or break a commitment. When did it stop being fun and start being so scary?

So tonight, I am sending this out to all of you...and that helps... but its not necessary. Its not necessary because I have Katie who is letting me be hopeful but with stars in my eyes and willing to hold both my hands if I decide to leap.